am i his WHAT?!

tonight i got out to nordstroms to buy some blush at the MAC counter. as i checked out all the make-up girls i wondered why i can't get away with wearing makeup like them without looking and feeling like a transvestite? those thoughts take me to a bad memory. i've shared this with some of you so hang with me.
it was 2 years ago at ian's YAHOO christmas party. we sat at the table with a group of people. introductions began. when it was my turn the guy across from me asked ian if he had brought his mother - referring to me!!! i'm all "what the hell"??!! "am i his WHAT"?! oooooooh, that did not go over well with me. i sat there and sarcastically chuckled. what an @*! and ian laughed and totally ate it up as it fed his ego that his older wife did look older than him. i think i remained mad for a week.
4 months later we were at my brother's for his daughter's 1st year bday. i sat on the couch with my sisters and brother who is only a year younger than me. introductions again. as we went down the couch with family intro's gabe's friend asked me if i was his mother?! my brother's mother!! again ian laughed all the while throwing vinegar to my open wound! this time i did have to laugh with my sister and say "oh my hell, not again"! my sister-in-law quickly said to just ignore him - his addictions have screwed up his head. ya right. i accept that i look like a 60yr. old hag. my boobs even sag.
not too much later, that same year, i took lauren for a pedicure and the gal doing it asked if i was her grandmother. i'm all "you can suck my cheese". i give up.
so the question is, have i hit my mid-life crisis? do i just skip my 50's and go straight for the senior citizen discounts? do i start going on the senior cruises? after all, my ob says i am beginning to go thru menopause. think i'll start playing golf and hang out at the senior centers.
so, i bought the blush the pretty "young" clerk recommended and then ran upstairs to brass plum and bought a short black dress. i refuse to be 60 so soon and even when i am 60 i hope i really don't look 60.
song of the day: "last night" by p.diddy